Dealing with people who don’t share the same opinions as you, who know how to get you angry, and sometimes just like to see you pissed you off gets real annoying. I guess a popular phrase would be “they know how to push your buttons”. Obviously a person who has self control, both mentally and emotionally is able to keep him or herself more cool rather than loosing it like the incredible hulk.
One of the things that a Muslim is suppose to do is think long term always. Consciously asking oneself “if I react in such a manner rather than another, why will be the repercussions?”.
A practical example would be avoiding getting into argument with someone who is more sensitive to criticism or takes any minor conflicts to the heart. It’s true, some people get more effected than others. As a result, there may be a prolonged time-frame where your relationship is hurt and conversations are inactive.
So lately, I’ve been thinking about how quickly some of us including myself may get caught up in these type of moments. Relax, they aren’t kodak moments. Well maybe if shatan is taking the picture. A moment that gets us to start “wylin” out like we say in Brooklyn.
To draw a popular analogy, it’s like a Pepsi bottle that’s shaken constantly and the pressure builds up to such a point that the slightest opening of the cap can cause it to explode right in your face. This is how some situations can make individuals become. The goal for all of us should be to take the high road. By this I mean, being the better person in the heated moment and not fueling the fire. It’s moments like this, that give us an opportunity to become extraordinary and set an example rather than being pathetic and degrading ourselves.
Why Bother Taking the High Road? ( 5 Tips)
1) Protecting Relationships:
Our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “It is not lawful for a Muslim to desert (stop talking to) his brother beyond three nights, the one turning one way and the other turning to the other way when they meet, the better of the two is one who is the first to greet the other.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
It’s an important reminder that sadly is forgotten. This would require one person to take the higher road and squash the beef, make the beef halal =). Notice how in the hadith, it says the better of the two is the first to greet the other. Greeting the other with salaams aka peace!
2) Controlling Emotions:
Anger feeds Anger. I can’t find the hadith at the moment but essentially anger comes from shatan and shatan comes from fire, so how do you cool off fire? With water! Go do wu’du and cool yourself off. When you take the high road, your going away from the fire, think of it like that.
3) Saving Yourself From Sin:
The heated moments can sometimes get us to do something even more stupid. Next thing you know your cursing or you say something that you regret later on. It’s intelligent not to set yourself up for this trap. Before it escalates, leave! A pattern often leads to one of these moments, you need to carefully identify what’s causing this and take preventive measures. This would require you to do some contemplation/self reflection when you got some personal time. Perhaps tahajjud time when the rest of the house is sleeping.
4) Waste of Energy:
Why not direct your energy in other ways? When you take the high road, your saving yourself from wasting energy, giving yourself high blood pressure and obviously stress. Who needs high blood pressure? We already eat enough halaal fried chicken, chill yo moderation yo.
5) Spread love, Not hate:
Don’t let negativity spread, it starts to effect the mood and state of mind of those around you. The environment needs to foster positivity, optimism, so just chill. It’s especially important that if you are the source of influence in the group, household, organization and by that I mean what you do can easily rub off on others then you need to get it right. Often times, people say stuff to discourage you from doing good. Shatan starts talking for them, they’ll say things like “you don’t really want to help, your just putting on a front” blah blah blah. The bottom line is if your sincere about the future and are conscious of taking a higher road for a greater purpose and for the reasons I mentioned above then stay focused on it. Try not be swayed easily.
Alright till next time my friends, insh’Allah I’ll write again soon. May Allah swt give us the ability to take the high road, Ameen.