One of the topics I’ve been thinking about lately is how parents or in general elders speak to young Muslims who are far from the Deen. Often times, their tone or approach in talking ends up driving them further away from doing what is right.
I’ll give you one example:
One of my friends dad in Brooklyn goes to the masjid daily in Brighton beach. Often times he sees some of these young Muslims outside the masjid smoking. An ordinary uncle with a back home approach would generally start harassing them.
Anyways, so my friends dad went up to them one day while the Azan was being called and said “Why don’t you at least pray Salat and smoke after”?. Okay, before some of you start going all crazy, you need to remember that most of these youth have developed bad habits, and a little bit of gentleness in daw’ah can go a long way.
Yes, it’s better they at least pray and smoke rather than just smoke. In fact, when they start praying, insha’Allah that will allow them to gradually change for the better. To make a long story short, those very same kids told my friend that they wished their parents had spoken to them in that manner.
Now this is the issue I wanted to tackle. Watch out Shatan! No but all jokes aside, there is a time to be strict and a time to be soft like halal Marshmallows. Based on who you are dealing with, whether it is on the individual or collective level, you need to be conscious of what you tell them and in what environment. By this, I’m referring to who they are around, it’s from the Sunnah to tell people their faults in a one on one setting. When you put people on blast like we say in the hood then you are in a sense humiliating and degrading them.
Alot more can be said in this article but I don’t want to fry your brains. This is something I need to work on in particular myself first. May Allah swt guide us and allow us to communicate in ways that influence people for the better in this life and in the next, Ameen.
One verse from the Qur’an before I bounce –
“Invite to the way of your Lord with wisdom and good instruction, and argue with them in a way that is best. Indeed, your Lord is most knowing of who has strayed from His way, and He is most knowing of who is [rightly] guided.” – (Surah An-Nahl, Ayah 125)